Why I Wish I Were a Goose Right Now!

The other day, I was walking around the lake near our house with our dog and toddler in tow. I’d already done the usual morning juggle (school drop-off, breakfast cleanup, housework, emails – you know the drill), and was finally outside, breathing a little.

And then I noticed them. A group of geese – actually, is it a gaggle? A flock? I always get that muddled – but what struck me wasn’t their name, but how many adult geese were there, shepherding goslings of various sizes. Tiny fluffy ones, more gangly adolescents… it was like a little goose crèche in real time. They were doing it together. Not one frantic parent with various little ones trailing behind (or running riot). They were co-parenting. Supporting. Sharing the load.

And I felt something surprising: envy.

I couldn’t quite believe it – jealous of geese?! But there it was. That deep yearning for shared responsibility. For community. Even with incredible support from our nearby family, the day-to-day of parenting can still feel so heavy, so isolating.

We hear the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child” often – but I wonder if it’s even bigger than that. Maybe it takes a village to raise a family. To support parents as they navigate the profound transition into this new role. To carry some of the load so it’s not always one person, one parent, trying to do it all.

What I keep coming back to is this: we aren’t just becoming parents. We’re being asked to add a whole new identity without subtracting anything else. We’re still expected to work like we don’t have children, and parent like we don’t have work, or hobbies, or dreams – or a nervous system that needs rest.

I’ve been both a working parent and a stay-at-home mum, and however you parent – it is hard. And the cultural messages we receive – about being a ‘good mother’, about doing it all and doing it perfectly – only make that weight heavier.

So, what’s the antidote?

It might begin with questioning those expectations. Letting ourselves be human. It might look like deep breaths. Messy houses. Saying no to the second birthday party of the weekend, or yes to takeaway on a Tuesday. It might look like saying to a friend, “This is hard,” and letting them say, “Me too.”

And dropping the frankly absurd expectation that we should be able to handle it all, because it is too much. We’ve never had so many expectations and so little support. So please – start bringing in the support, however you can. Welcome it. Share the load.

I hope that today, this week, this month – you can find little ways to gather your village. Whether that’s an actual person, a boundary, a moment of breath, or simply the reminder: you are not alone in this.